


I don't believe in love

by snjeguljica33



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Jude and Zero - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:51:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6931231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snjeguljica33/pseuds/snjeguljica33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zero's POV (one more time)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't believe in love

I never believed in love. I believed in hard work to become number one, and did not choose the expedient to get to a goal. Agonizing childhood taught me don't believe in people and use them only as means to arrive to the finish line. It was the same thing in sex, be it women, men or both at once, as soon as I got what I wanted, and left. I liked to live alone but not by myself I did not want to admit that after some bad dreams about a mother who left me and my sister, the foster parents who didn't care for us. I wanted to put my hand on the sleeping body that has never been there for me.

Then Jude came into my life. That dark, serious boy who brought me from Ohio to L.A., who worked hard every day to ensure that I don't miss anything, that we fulfill every desire to feel being important and that my only job is to be number one in the new club. I always knew where Jude was. I could rely on him in every circumstance and trouble. And I knew that Jude would be there for me at any time of a day or night. One day I began to realize that I liked to be with Jude and when we didn't have any work to do I caught myself thinking about him when he wasn't there. I thought I could squeeze my hand through Jude's hair as we did have a taste of lips. And what a body that he was hidding below that suit. But I did not dare to do anything because Jude eventually became the closest thing that meant a frient to me. Jude was always worried and nervous. Always in a pool, always on the edge. I tried to persuade him several times for he should go to a party or to the practice with me. So he could relax for but Jude didn't want to. He always had something else to do.

  
Then I played a little bit about Jelena and avenge me letting gossip about whores. For the first time in my life I felt that my plans didn't go as expected, and again Jude stepped up comforting me and promising to somehow fix it. And suddenly, in the middle of this confusion and misery Jude kissed me! I could not be more shocked. My reaction wasn't ideal because again I thought only of myself and my problems. And when he shouted after me that he's not gay it occurred to me for the first time I've been bad to the only man who was my friend. I entered the plane and sat down. The taste of his soft lips haunted me throughout the entire flight. When I returned Jude acted as if nothing had happened and I could not help himself but to make fun of him. Although I felt a slight pain in the belly every time I saw him. Jude continued to fight for my business. For him there wasn't a situation he couldn't get away from. And now he even tried to turn out the situation in my benefit. He insisted on going to that party just to try to fix my public image. And when I persisted the first time Jude thought of him, at least since I knew him and he said he was going without me because someone was waiting for him there. Suddenly I felt pain in my gut going stronger. I did not know what it was but Jude gave it a name: jealousy. I did not want to share him with anyone ever. For the first time in my life I felt that I wanted someone only for myself and I wondered if it wasn't selfish. Jude ignored me and still wanted to go to the party when my sight went black and I grabbed his face tight with both hands and kissed him. From that day in the limo wanted to feel the taste of those supple lips again but Jude changed his mind and broke my thoughts in half. He took a step back when we separated and he sighed. For a moment I was afraid it would be the end. But then Jude came towards me and everything made sence at last. We kissed long and passionately, trying to overpower each other, clothes flying all over the place. He pushed me against the wall. I felt a blow to the back but I did not care. I knew that after this both of us would be covered by bruises and bite marks but this was so good that we did not mind. I never wanted anyone so much in my life. We fell on the top of a bed and I gently started to kissing him from neck to stomach until I reached his dick. Jude covered his eyes with a hand and quietly groaned when I put his dick in my mouth. With one hand I slowly started at the bottom and went for the rest processing the whole lenght with my mouth. Jude finished with a strong jolt and I returned to his lips and continued to kiss him. His whole body was trembling and even if his eyes were still closed there was a single tear coming down his cheek. Now I certainly knew that it was his first time, even though he was trying to hide it. To me it was even more exciting in a way and most of all for the first time in my life I enjoyed the sex even more because I was more focused on him than me. When he calmed down a bit Jude took my dick in his hand and started to jerk me off. We kissed and touched everywhere. I came over his hand and we both fell on the bed and fell asleep. I woke up after few hours and stood up. I barely found my clothes all of them scattered around the apartment. Jude was still asleep and although I wanted to reach his face and hair I changed my mind and quietly closed the door going home instead. I lay in my bed and fell asleep again. In the morning when the alarm rang suddenly I opened my eyes and I began to think of last night. Dear, sweet, serious Jude, God, what have I done?

Although we did not meet at the club that evening I was back at his door. He opened it and I did it without a word again. I began to kiss him. Jude did not protest but took my hand and take me to his room. We were naked in a minute, street light cast by small clues over our bodies. We both had bruises and bites all over our bodies. We laughed conspiratorially and continued where we left last night. This time Jude pointed to the first tray where I found condoms and lube which meant that we could go a step further. I inflicted lube on my hand and slowly started to warm Jude's hole. One, two, three fingers and Jude was sobbing loudly. I asked him if he was ready and said to him that I would be gentle as I could. Then I slowly began to push. Jude was so tight. It was driving me mad. I held him firmly by the shoulders until he felt the pain turn into pleasure. We moved slowly at first until we could find the right rhythm and then faster and faster until I hand dealt his dick. Jude had finished first and I did immediately after him. Slowly I pulled the cock from his ass and he lay in the fetal position. I hugged him and held him until we both calmed down.

  
Since then it somehow became normal for me to come to that little apartment where Jude was waiting for me. It was not always just about sex. Sometimes we just watched TV and drank beer or just talked. I told him that I don't do relationships and Jude agreed but no matter how we called it I did not need other people, sex with somebody else, the crazy parties anymore. The only thing I needed was Jude. And in the days when I was with the team on tours and matches in a different city I missed Jude that much that it actually hurt. Then the season ended and I was number two. I was angry and miserable and then Jude came up with this story that he wanted something that I couldn't give him. And he turned and walked out of my life.  
   
It's been a few months. I went back to old habits. I worked a lot. Fucked who I wanted. Lived to the fullest. I did not allow that little flame in the belly burn a bit. I did not want to think of all those moments that Jude and me spent together. I didn't want to admit to myself how much I missed him. And then we met again. I knew this would happen eventually but I was not ready. The beam that had fallen over one eye and those serious green eyes. I finally realized I broke heart to the only man that meant something to me. Several times I tried to talk to him, to re-enter his life and I dissapointed him yet again after the sex in the closet. What was wrong with me?

  
I was standing in front of my poster when I saw Jude coming. I tried to start a conversation with him. All quietly pleasant... He was still decent but he kept distance. Then I surprised myself by telling him I love you and he rewarded me by saying the same thing. But he still didn't believe me and I didn't blame him after all I've put him through. And somehow I once again managed to hurt him when I told him that I was still not ready to bond with him.

  
At the end of the season all of us players celebrated victory and I remembered how sad it was the last time for me and Jude when we found ourselves in the same situation again and something broke in me. Jude was standing on the court, the chips were falling on us, everything was about the fame. I approach him and kissed him. I didn't believe in love or whatever it was called but I believe in Jude and what we have. And I know it will not be easy and there will be ups and downs but I will catch him and look at the nice smile on his face and nothing else will be more important to me.

all love and thanks go to nagron12 :)


End file.
